Love in the Time of Quantum Physics

So here I am sitting on my bed trying to use quantum physics and astronomy to cope with grief, that I couldn’t have possibly lost anything or made any mistakes or have any regrets if what we have are dimensions and a parallel timeline and the other “me”s made different choices and I now travel alongside “myselves” on a different course, never crashing, not worried about the finish line, only about the vastness of space and the magnitude of light years, galaxies, constellations, a billion suns. My best friend in Rome calls me and I tell her I am hurting. It is evening over there. She says, “It’s ok you’re hurting, it means something broke. If something broke, it means it still works.”

 

“Well, something works all right, everything, everything still works,” I shed tears into my morning coffee. “So fix it,” she says.

 

And suddenly I remember. Huddled in the corner is a backpack. I put down the coffee and buy a one way ticket to walk along the Silk Road, right where it started in China. It’s amazing how much gold and silver had been traded for thread that comes out of a worm; how many lives gained and lost and transformed by commerce, faith, winds of monsoons and thirsty camels. As I plot my route, I go into caves and taverns and speak with merchants and kiss strange men who are on the same journey, for different reasons. I sit on canoes and drink in waters of rivers, touch uncut diamonds and lose oxygen in high altitudes. I plunge into prehistoric forests and dance and shoot game and rub soil on my face. I steal honey from bees because I am hungry. I will fall and die and break all over again and learn to say goodbye elegantly. I find friends and family on the streets of India, Persia, hanging off rocks with my fingers.

Like the history of mankind and the migration of peoples, we are all seeking, searching, wandering– Mongolia; Kazakhstan; Istanbul, where you cross the Bosphurus River and one minute you’re in Europe, the next—Asia. As empires rise and fall and faces launch a thousand ships, dynasties overthrown by concubines and gypsies with dreams, I will get everything stolen from me and despair once again, but out of that despair, I will suddenly remember. I will remember. Then there will be a call. And I shall come home again.

Alicia Khoo,
Costa Mesa, CA
October 2013

 

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12 thoughts on “Love in the Time of Quantum Physics

  1. Dealing with loss through quantum physics…very interesting..there are some who hypothesize the mind quantum computes..:)

    • Yes, the mind is an interesting phenomenon, it can transcend and it can be hijacked when abused/uncared for. Such a great instrument that not just contains our will, emotions, memories, and the ability to anticipate the future while analyzing the past.

  2. Ahhh quantum psychics, I sigh, look to the left knowing that out that window lives every form of proton and neutron to take me here and there. I love you my dear Ally ❤ I look forward to the day we sit on a bench and write together statistics of the human code. looking forward to picking up your book as well ❤

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